TRUHCKS[edit | edit source]
Growing up in Fort Saskatchewan left you in two parties. Ones that drive trucks and nothing but trucks, and those who hate you. Fort Sask truck culture is almost vomit incuding and therefore has been the butt of jokes in this group since the beginning.
Fort Sask Truck Culture[edit | edit source]
For some basic background, a basic dude bro truck driver would typically drive a shitbox base model heavily used truck from the early 2000's and DIY "modify" their beloved truhck. These mods usually consisted of poorly done at best and dangerous at their worst lift mods, bare metal direct to battery subwoofers, straight pipe exhaust at best or at worst just cutt the whole fucking thing off so all you can hear is their sweet 1997 GMC 150 HP oil burning 500k V8. Since these gits have grown up its now not as uncommon to see this same behavior done in newer trucks typically DODGE because DODGE is uh..edgy? I don't know. ITS GOT SIK GRILLZ.
- Typical TRUHCK drivers will often do sick "burnouts" out of gravel parking lots to show their sick HP in gear one and take off roaring at 30km/hr to the nearest stop sign assuming their rear axel hasn't come off.
- MONSTER stickers are a must.
- Off-roading tires on a truck that has clearly never seen so much as a mud puddle.
- Typical TRUHCK drivers also feel an urge to floor it when they see a group of people as they drive past to show off their sick skillz and the size of their penis and proceed to floor a 4000 pound truck in a straight line up to 60km/hr.
- At the lowest end of this pile are the TRUHCK drivers who drive trucks with a short to almost non-existant box meaning it can't even do that which is what the whole fucking point of having a truck is for. These people should be shamed into crying puddles.
The TRUHCK drivin' James Series of Unfortunate Events[edit | edit source]
An old friend named James was a hybrid of our group and TRUHCK groups at high school and thus bought many TRUHCKS.
1st TRUHCK - 1990's GMC Sierra
Demise - Caught on fire and burned to the ground on the highway after a poorly done sub woofer wiring job shortcircuited to ground and caught the interior on fire. Wire was directly attached to the car battery without a fuse.
2nd TRUHCK - Idunno small thing maybe Ford Ranger
Demise - This one was t-boned in the DQ intersection by on old woman, actually her fault but James's luck with vehicles is part of what makes this so entertaining.
3rd and final TRUHCK - Newer GMC?
Demise - This one got smashed so fast I don't know if I ever even saw it 1st hand. This truck got ran over by a bull on a farm and totalled. Oh my god.
All 3 were bought and totalled in a 3 year span during high school.
James has since given up on the TRUHCK and bought a car :( He hasn't totalled a car :(
Truck driver vs TRUHCK driver[edit | edit source]
A truck driver uses a utility vehicle as a utility vehicle or has a fucked up dirty off roading truck they actually take off roading.
A TRUHCK driver uses a utility vehicle to show off their enormous penis they must have BECAUSE they drive a..utility vehicle? Nobody understands their ways.
What to do when you see a TRUHCK driver[edit | edit source]
When you spot a TRUHCK driver getting ready to do a sick "burnout" or downshift to gear one to show off how sick their V8 sounds as they approach you, simply shout as loud as you fucking can while jumping up and down or general spasming something that loosely goes like this:
"YEA GEAR 1 BRO YEA FUCK YEA OH YEA 50KM/HR SICK BRO WOW. LETS GO TO NASCAR TOGETHER WOW. I BET YOU TURN LEFT GOOD TOO COOL BRO WOW."